I hate to use the phrase "been there -done that" but I have been in your shoes for another issue a few years ago.

The best you can do is keep it honest and real with your members and keep them informed!

Now the question to think about as you are practicing your left hook is do you remind her that this is XYZ school and you (YOU) have been there for x years. I don't mind hearing new ideas and love them but I don't think you want me to tell you how to run the school so can you respect the job I have been doing for this school? Or something like that.....

The best I can leave you with is YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

We also wonder what she was like at the "other school". All we do know is that she was the Asst. Principal and no one is willing to talk. Believe me our minds have been working OT too, for several months to make sense of this. But hey, that's okay.

We did send a letter today to the Superintendant and Asst Sup. as well as the teachers, as it is the PTO. Some of the teachers were not happy, because they feel it should be handled "privately" but what they fail to realize is that we are simply putting the facts and documentation out there.
Copies of the letter were sent to the "members in good standing" that we had email for. Now its just a waiting game to get replies from the people who count. Unfortunately, when she made her remarks about the books public opinion has been set in the minds of people and no amount of talk or letter writing can change someone's opinion no matter what. Hopefullly things will go the way they should, the way of the PTO. Waiting is the hardest part! Going to find my punching bag now!

Thanks for your thoughts.

I wonder what she was like at the other school? You know? What was so great about that PTO that your PTO should go that way with your ideas etc. Just my brain working OT.

Are you able to send parents an e-mail? That would be a great way to send a message to parents "the rest of the story"....or let it be. Not sure what I would do but I would be needed a punching bag right now!

Again, thank you all for your input. I also agree with writermom that she is trying to gain financial control. As an update to the story, she is "strongly encouraging" the teachers to remind kids to have their parents come to our next general meeting, presumably to stack the cards in her favor. She has also gone so far as to tell the teachers that we have denied her access to the books (very untrue) and therefore everyone is now assuming that we are having "financial difficulties" and trying to hide it.

Unfortunately, there is no way to appease her without becoming "YES-MEN" which is what she wants. It is the feeling of the entire group that she would like this to be the Principal's Organization and not the PTO! While we have given in to some of her requests (demands) we are not willing to give in to anymore as it goes against our ideals as a group.

The final straw came today when one of the officers found a flyer from "The PTO" encouraging parents to attend. Only problem is that it didn't come from the PTO and I know this because I am the elected Corresponding Sec. or, if you will, the self proclaimed "Flyer Bitch". Therefore, if I didn't make it, it didn't come from the PTO! Some poor teacher is being made the fall guy for this one.

Sorry if it sounds like I am doing nothing but complaining, but I actually need to just "download it". Thanks all for listening.

I see the recruiting of the treasurer a little differently than does Cape Dad...I'm afraid she's using that to gain financial control. And depending on your bylaws and financial prcedures, she could do it. Maybe that's why she wants to revise the bylaws.

You've got to find some way to appease her or she can make things very difficult for you. I think I would try to find something to give her, or give in on something she wants that is more important to her than it is to you. That way you have the appearance of compromising (and really, you ARE compromising)and when she wants something again, you can say, "Well, we did give you money for this or changed the date for that because you wanted it that way." It gives you a little leverage. Don't give her more control than you're comfortable with, put give her some input and feeling of control.

It sounds to me that your principal is coming up with ideas/solutions to things she has to deal with and coming to your group for help. Even though what she is asking you to do borders on unreasonable, from the language in your post, is does not sound like she is forcing anything anywhere. If you have strong leaders, noone is going to force the group to do anything.

I wouldn't worry so much about all the referencing to the old school. If that's where her experience is, of course that is her point of reference. Personally, I like to hear what works in other places and I like to hear ideas. I'd just try and be clear that we already have 'our way' at this school and that we won't just change on a whim.

Revisiting bylaws is a good idea from time to time. One person can't change them, so how can it hurt to discuss the bylaws with the principal? Her ideas may be good and make your bylaws stronger. You would also find out pretty quickly if there was a hidden agenda.

I hope our principal recruits all of our officers for next year. I am dreading election time as I am afraid noone will come forward again. I see nothing wrong with that part. If she really is underhanded and thinks she is getting a buddy to write checks for whatever she wants, if your processes are sound, that will not happen.

I don't know why you'd need a mediator. Just stick to your guns but also be willing to listen to her new perspective.