Much like our government, a PTO is of the people, by the people and for the people. There is no separate entity that you can or should cast blame upon. The PTO is all of the parents attending and instead of expecting 'someone else' to handle the situation, they should have pitched in to help.
Why would you think that having an event outside the school would be any different? Before you go to plan B, you need to rethink the whole event planning and implementation process. There is a huge amount of great information on these boards. I suggest that you send the link to your president. You both can do research to bring to next general meeting.
Lastly, any person attending a PTO function who smells of alcohol should IMMEDIATELY be ejected. No questions or excuses. Now that you know that this can happen, you need to add a 'no tolerance' policy to your by-laws.
well, to be honest, Peanuthead if you came to THESE boards for sympathy, I am afraid you will be very surprised at the answers you will get.
I COMPLETELY agree with dlf.
This is a constant source of anger and frustration for PTO's. Parents expect us to be everything to everyone, expect us to plan, execute and attend ALL events, and THEN take the blame when things go wrong.
and, regarding those doors? In most states, a door to the outside MUST be able to open, due to fire hazards.
I think the Principal is right in staying out of it. I also think the PTO President should tell all those livid parents they THEY can step up and take even 10% of her job.
Shame on ALL OF YOU for blaming the ONE person who did all that work to make a fun night for what appears to be irresponsible brats whose parents haven't taught them how to behave in public. ( and apparently, based on some of those parents' behavior, they don't either...apples don't fall far from their trees, do they? )
PLEASE feel free to print my response and share it with your fellow parents and PTO President.
Well-I have to say that I was surprised at how angry I got after I read this. I had to walk away from the computer...why was I angry...not because the night was ruined but because the PTO President is now being blamed for the action of adults at an event where adults should have been supervising their children. Perhaps there could have been some of the other parents at the event that saw the doors swinging open and secured them. Perhaps if you need a "bouncer" at an event you shouldn't have the event at all. Perhaps if someone thought the teenager wasn't the best person in the position of money taker they could have volunteered to sit near them to support the event or without being asked policed up the dance floor.
I have been at my own events where parents have come to me with issues without ever offering to do something to fix them (even if it is as simple as moving the cash box from one position to another). I guess this strikes me at a bad time. Could the PTO president have planned better -- perhaps she and her other committee could have. Maybe parents should take responsibility for themselves and their children even if they are at an event. That doesn't mean that the child is in some sort of limbo land where now the PTO is responsible for their behavior. Why was there an event at the school that the principal or the assistant principal didn't attend. Wouldn't happen at our school...if they couldn't be their we'd change the date of the event.
PTO Presidents have no authority--none, zippo, no more than anyone else attending the event. The best they can do is hope that grown ups act like grown ups and parents and take care of their children.
Could there have been a better plan--yup, I suspect so and trust me I am now pondering what safeguards I'd have in place to prevent this...but let's not act like this was the PTO President's fault--at least not totally.
Sorry to sound so frustrated by this and I hope that your group can ALL come together, look at the event in a way that will allow you to learn the lessons (however tough) that it offered and then move forward. I suspect there won't be a dance in your future but perhaps some other adult team building events would work....
We just held our annual Halloween dance- it will be our last. First a parent showed up who had been drinking, also she and her teeange daughter were dressed inappropriately and were told to cover up some. Next she got upset that her children did not win the costume contest and proceeded to curse the PTO Pres. At some point it is our understanding that she ordered a child that was with her (a non-student) to physical assault another child- this resulted in a busted nose and a lot of tears. Finally the PTO pres. asked the woman to leave- which she was going to do but she and her husband ended up cursing and screaming at another parent and actually got into a fist fight. The police were finally called. It should be noted that the Pres. did not make certain that the doors were secured at any time during the night so we had several children running around outside. I feel that had the PTO organized this event better we may not have had this problem- or at least minimized it. The PTO allowed a teenager take money at the door- normally we have had an adult volunteer to do this and to make sure who was coming and going all the time-- kind of like a bouncer. The PTO also did not station adult chaperones around the dance floor and the outside entrances. There were several parents who would have helped had they been assigned a job.
Of course all this was reported to the principal and she has stated that the BOE/Superintendent told her she must cancel any future dances. Needless to say the parents are very upset. The principal refuses to meet with the parents and has said she wants nothing to do with it, she doesnt want in the middle. I have several years left at this school and I am mad that the actions of a couple of parents have ruined the fun for everyone. The principal still wants us to fundraise but we cannot reward the children like we do by holding the dances. Many of us feel that everyone involved should be banned from future events- we did fine, with no problems for years before these people came along. This includes the Pres.- she did not plan correctly and she was heard cursing in the hallway about the situations too. Had she handled the problem at the beginning by asking one of the teachers present to tell the woman to cover up and to leave- then perhaps this would not have developed into the police arriving. She is a volunteer and a parent just like this woman- someone with authority should have been asked to take over. Perhaps if the Pres. had called the police or had a teacher handle it when the woman first began cursing- but she chose to ignore things and now we have this.
Any suggestions on what we should do now? Our By Laws state that if requested by 15 members we are supposed to be given a meeting- not sure yet if the principal will honor this. Heck she may decide to do away with the PTO altogether-- she hasnt been happy about it for quite some time. Of course there is nothing saying that a dance has to be held at the school- the PTO can always rent a place. How do you feel about all of this?
