My Tip of the Week: What To Do When You Feel Like a PTO Outsider

Have you ever felt like an outsider at your PTO or PTA? Or perhaps you've made someone else feel that way? Either way, ouch. Whether you're the outsider or the one putting up barriers, the real harm is to the parent group that is almost assuredly not getting the involvement it needs to thrive.

by Tim Sullivan

02/07/2016

Have

e yo

e you ever felt like an outsider at your PTO or PTA? Or perhaps you've made someone else feel that way? Either way, ouch. Whether you're the outsider or the one putting up barriers, the real harm is to the parent group that is almost assuredly not getting the involvement it needs to thrive.

We have interesting discussions on the message boards and on Facebook about this very challenge.

We also have a great feature on dealing with cliques in your parent group, and I wrote a column on how even the best groups can fall into the clique trap (including those led by well-meaning volunteers).

If you're feeling left out, my advice is to find a place within your school to find success. I'm guessing your goal is to help make your school a great place for your child and other kids and to get connected. You can do that in so many ways at a school -- even beyond the PTO or PTA. You can help in the school library or take on a new, smallish project that no one else is into. You can work as a room mom or dad. There's really no limit. But the key is to stay connected (because it's so important -- you can't be chased away) and then do really good work positively. Be the example of maturity and openness. Make your domain work really well -- and share credit!

Schools and parent groups do need lots of help, especially from motivated volunteers. While there can certainly be obstacles, great volunteers generally can find a path to help. And it's so worth it.