Mother Funders: What PTOs Can Learn From the Bravo Reality Show

Last night Bravo aired the first full episode of Mother Funders, a reality show centered on an elementary school PTO in Georgia. The show’s format will be familiar to anyone who’s watched the network’s Real Housewives series, with personality clashes escalating into big scenes with memorable one-liners.

In this episode we meet the PTO officers and learn that their goal for the year is to raise $100,000 for school technology. Most of the screen time focuses on preparations for the PTO’s $100 per plate pink pajama party fundraiser and simmering tensions between the president, Carla, and the volunteer coordinator, Robin. Even though Carla recruited Robin for the board, she’s placed Robin on “probation” for “going rogue,” or not falling in line with the president’s micromanaging ways. (PTO probation? That’s a new one.) The episode is full of conflicts, from Carla’s cringe-inducing lecture over the appearance of centerpieces to bickering over lanyards just minutes before the pajama party begins.

As a TV viewer I have to keep reminding myself that there are quite a few actual real housewives in Orange County and New Jersey and Atlanta who live much different lives than those of the Real Housewives of Bravo TV. So we have to be careful not to get too offended by the lack of reality when Bravo takes on the PTO challenge. A balanced president hosting a simple event with a mixture of willing volunteers and the occasional, normal disagreement might make for a successful PTO, but it sure would be one boring TV show.

We did notice that the producers started the show with a few caveats that weren’t in the preview episode a few weeks ago, noting, for example, that many schools have multiple fundraising organizations supporting the school. That’s actually pretty rare at the elementary level, and we’re guessing that the producer’s note is a small nod to the local controversy that has boiled since the preview episode’s first airing.

The school district did not authorize the show, and it looks like we are going to have a season of PTOdom without ever setting foot in the school and without ever interacting with the principal or school staff. We’re in; we’ll be watching. But that alone eliminates about 75 percent of the real PTO and PTA experience. Of course, we are watching Mother Funders from a PTO insider’s perspective, as well. The show may be good TV, but what can PTO and PTA leaders learn here?

Which brings us to our three observations from episode 1:

1. The focus on fundraising (and huge $$ goals) alone is a big mistake. We’re sure Carla has her heart in the right place trying to get a new computer lab for the school, but she’s missing the wider picture. A PTO is about making the school a great place for kids to learn, and that involves a lot more than shiny new computers. Families that are engaged are a huge part of it. The community that surrounds a building matters. Making sure that all families feel a part of the solution is important, and $100-per-plate PJ parties don’t help. PTOs make a mistake when they pigeonhole themselves as fundraising organizations.

2. PTOs are not a fiefdom. Can hard-charging leaders get more done? Sure. Can a boss with an iron fist lead his or her company to new heights? Yes. But Carla is the boss of exactly no one. Why are these Mother Funder moms sticking around while Carla criticizes them for not meeting her unrealistic expectations? It has to be because of the TV contracts, because every parent we know has tons of options for their limited time besides being chastised and embarrassed in their volunteer duties. And that’s why PTOs have to serve volunteers (as opposed to making volunteers into servants), and why tyrannical PTOs fail—volunteers have too many other options. Volunteers can stay home or they can put their talents to work for any one of hundreds of other good causes. There are only six volunteers featured at Carla’s episode 1 events and meetings. That’s not a coincidence. Want more? Check out this video on serving parents.