"One monkey doesn't stop the show"... I love that! What a great perspective, clarkslittlehelper!
Kelley
Madison PTO
Mount Vernon, WA

We have a memember who said they wanted the position they are currently holding. Two of us are basically doing all the planning, letter writing, etc. We like her but we don't have time to waste. Our motto is "One Monkey Doesn't Stop the Show". We laugh about it, exhale and go on.

I recently had to demote the self-volunteered chair of our spring carnival. Like mom2, this was one of the hardest things I've had to do as a PTO officer, but the hand-writing was on the wall. She came in very enthusiastically, having chaired a similar event (so she thought) at her child's old school. Very quickly, however, the assistant chair found her to be negative, confrontational, and slow to act. Not a good attitude for a major, financially risky event. I met with the mom in question, the assistant, and last year's chairperson who was acting as advisor. We reviewed in detail all the tasks and nuances of the project. At the conclusion, I looked her in the eye and asked her if the project at our school was bigger than she expected. She really didn't have much to say, but her body language told me she knew she was in over her head. I then laid it right out: I reassigned the chair position to the assistant (who has lots of volunteer experience at our school), and "demoted" the new mom to assistant. I encouraged the new mom to learn from the old mom, and to take ownership for prize acquisition, a task she has strong experience in. Perhaps the new mom will be able to chair the event next year, after a year in the assistant seat.

I guess my advice to you, Pabby, from my experience, is to review the job expectations with your volunteer. I have found that alot of times when someone "fails" in their role, it's because their defination of the job isn't the same as what the board thinks the job entails. It goes back to the old saying, what happens when you AssUMe... It's hard to pull someone back onto the "right" path after they've gone down what they think is the right path, but that might solve your problem. Either she'll realize the job isnt' what she thought it was and resign, or she'll do it the way it needs to be done.

We tried very hard this year to reduce the risk of unmatched expectations by writing very detailed job descriptions for each of our chairpeople. Obviously, that didn't work in the case of our carnival commitee (above), but it least it gives us something to point to when a chair falls down on the job.

I just had to "fire" the vice-president of our organization. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, and believe me I did not do it without a lot of thinking and consideration. I tried to approach the situation in a really mature, private, calm way. I told the person that while I knew she was capable of doing the job, she obviously just didn't have the time to devote to it.

We had a parent that stepped up last year to do this job. At the time we (we are a board in our second term) were concerned because although she seemed to do a lot in the classroom, she had never helped with one of our group fundraisers or events. Every project we have given her since she was elected has been a failure. The rest of our board and committee chairs just get it done and ask for help if necessary. This woman would reluctantly do a job, complaining the whole time, and then never finish it. She stopped showing up to our general meetings without any explanation, never participated in our email discussions, and the last straw was when she just never showed up to participate in the fundraiser she was supposed to be co-chairing (so she could see a fundraiser from beginning to end) .

We finally decided that we couldn't wait any longer to get rid of her and risk that she actually became the president and then dropped the ball. We gave her chance after chance.

The saddest part is that she really was nasty when I finally sat her down and told her it wasn't working. She refused to take any responsibility and wouldn't look at me or even discuss the situation. She just said "whatever".

I know that some people do step up to a challenge, but it's sad that some people just don't. I have since found out that she has also been replaced as room parent, art mom, and book order mom in her kid's classrooms because she didn't do anything there either.

Good luck - I tried to be mature and nice about the whole thing and it got turned around on me that I "forced" her out. My suggestion is to put the complaint in writing and don't discuss it with her alone.

Writermom and Critter have really good points but if you are still institing this mom needs to :stay home" then you need to find someone to help fill her spot. Too cruel? Well, then if you have treat bags to make set a time and date, have it all ready and others to help (maybe some of her friends too) and get-r-done. My friends have done this to me several times! Fortunatly I have a sense of humor and didn't realize what they were doing until the project was done and they said "Now wasn't that easier with some help!" .

Let me ask you this, you and a friend are driving and realize how lost your friend has become. Do you tell them to pull over or do you look for a map (or use your phone to call for directions)? I have learned to tell my husband how to find his way back and help him, I have made him stop and getout to let me drive. I like helping him much better. Extending a helping hand is much easier than telling someone to "just go away".

Our first full year as a PTA, we were having serious issues with the President. Nothing was getting done by him and the board decided to ask him for his resignation. The two board members who knew him personally went to him and told him straight out that he was no longer filling his duties as President and asked him to resign. He agreed as long as I would take his place. Well, that's easier said than done because there is a process. In the end, I did step in and served the balance of the school year. It's never easy to confront someone, but for the sake of your group and more importantly, for the sake of your students, it has to be done.