I must agree that a lot of times the "clique" image is used when it is actually just a group of people who work well together. Our board for the most part has been together for several years. We have similar ideas, values and goals for this school and our lives. We work well together, don't have to discuss every issue to death, and are "nuts" about giving our children the best opportunities in life. I have recently (due to a conversation between the principal and myself)taken a step back and tried to look objectively at how this board may be perceived by other parents. I do see how people who have not been around any of us, could easily get the idea that we want to "run" the show. We don't like to have to spend hours discussing topics before making decisions. We have a pretty good idea of what the staff and school administration will and won't accept. We do a lot of "behind the scenes" work: calling district personnel to get ideas and opinions, researching things from home, etc. It means that by the time we get to a meeting, we've gathered facts and probably had several short discussions while waiting for school to let out on the topic and have pretty much weighed the pros and cons and come to a decision. I don't think that's bad. I think I've figured out that the problem may be that we're not conveying to the general membership everything we've gone through before making the decision/recommendation. The parents say they want short meetings, but then some of them claim that the board is making all the decisions because we don't relay every gory detail of the process. SO next meeting I'll give more detail of how we came to our conclusions. We will also start sending out a meeting notice that has an agenda of what will be covered at the next meeting. Hopefully, this will get folks prepared with their ideas, questions, and opinions beforehand and make them see that they are needed, wanted, and a part of the process. It will make for longer meetings, but hopefully the next time I step back for my objective look, I'll be happier with what I see.
Two years ago while I was pregnant with my fourth, a very angry 'mob' of parents wanted to out the President. I was her secretarty. Two years later, the same women and I are at the new meeting for the year, she is president once again, I was last year and taking time out to raise my fifth, the new parents had no idea the yuck we had been through or the things that were said to each other BUT we are (to them) a click. Amazing.
I moved to our school three years ago and filled out a volunteer sheet with the school, met the President of the PTO while helping in the library and that was the begining for me. Helping in the classroom is awsome! I have three under the age of four so I really can't be in the classroom but would love to! I can't even participate in feild trips without getting a sitter for the day! (husband travels- lucky if he's home for dinner!) The PTA stuff will come, enjoy what you have now!
Isn't funny in high school we wanted so much to be with the "in" crowd and now we just want to be able know someone without being in the "in" crowd!
Some of the things said here bring forth a very important message - one that reminds us that no matter what event, no matter if it is the first of the year, the first meeeting of the organization, the Fall Festival, or even the daily gathering of moms to pick up their kids ---- we all need to wear a welcomeing smile, and take time our of our routine, to walk over to another group of moms, and just start chatting or join in the chat.
People can break the image of being an outsider, or just one that has not yet met someone new. Remember we are adults, not kids. We teach our kids how to welcome new kids to the classroom, how to extend an invitation to them to come hopscotch, or jump rope during recess. As adults, when we see a face we don't know, or a face we just have not met - walk on over and ask them to come join you in the workroom - or to come to the next Fall Festival meeting - cause you need more people and the more people the more fun and the better for everyone.
Adults are kids grown up - and we need to act grown up - not like kids. We have learned a thing or two since we were kids, had our feeling hurt, and should be able to reach out and welcome lots of people into the many things going on under the PTO/PTA calendar.
<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by <Just a Thought>: But I also try to remind people that what might be labeled a "clique" is actually just a core group of moms (usually) who get along, have common values, and like to work together. Heck, I don't socialize with any of my fellow officers, but I bet someone would call us a "clique". We just all have the time and inclination to be a little more involved than average. <hr></blockquote>
Thank you! You said that beautifully. Some people just don't get it. I think when someone feels left out then they tend to call others that are together a clique. I hate the word clique. I know I've been accused of being in the "clique" when I know darn good and well we aren't a clique at all. Sometimes I think it's jealousy or maybe insecurity on the name callers part.
I've met some really nice people being involved with the PTO. Funny, we weren't really friends, didn't ever talk to each other (not even really at meetings) or anything else but since we were labeled a clique this year, just because we all happened to be involved in the PTO last year, we've become friends. Guess I should thank our new President and her friends (gee...guess that would be a CLIQUE, huh?) for bringing us closer together.
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I've said this before, but...I don't see how we should expect parents to take time away from their families, to come our "meeting". Many of these parents volunteer in many other ways. They either come to read to the class, or bake goodies for the teachers. I understand parents want to spend time with their families, either just enjoying them around the dinner table, or watching little Johnny play his soccer game. I often get discouraged, but am trying harder to remember this. We send out newsletters, as was suggested, but hardly ever get any new faces. Tho they DO show up for Family Fun Nights (free!) We had 100% membership last year, and are stuggling this year. We jokingly say, we won't call you to volunteer, we just want your money and membership so we can get this prestigious award. Don't get me wrong, I love our PTA, principal and school. We do ALOT for our school and parents. We do want their money to help give their children all the "nice" things that the school district can't or won't buy them. We'd love to have new faces at meetings, but overall, we have a wonderful, generous school community!
