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...if someone is serious.

17 years 9 months ago #74548 by <curiosity>
Replied by <curiosity> on topic RE: ...if someone is serious.
Thank you all so much for the responses! I feel warm and fuzzy. I really didn't know what the responses would be and the LAST thing I wanted to do was make anyone angry (which I don't think I did)...but, I did think it was an issue that could use addressing.

I will continue to come to the boards very often to seek help, answers, advice, etc. (For the record, I "search" before I post a question but it's an excellent reminder/tip for any other newbies out there!) You are all truly wonderful people, without a doubt. I just really wanted to point out the "tone" some posts are replied to with, guessing that no one means any harm, but that it can come across in different ways to different people.

I will definitely take the tip to "bump up" and be noticed more! I take full responbility for that glitch on my end. This is also the first message board I've ever visited and never thought of bumping myself back up, if needed.

One last thing for now - I just happen to have a really good strawberry wine recipe that I'll post on page 2 for anyone that would like it.... [img]tongue.gif[/img]
17 years 9 months ago #74547 by Shawn
Replied by Shawn on topic RE: ...if someone is serious.
Hey I can be crass sometimes ("use search") ;) -so even if it were directed at me- I apologize- if I've done it.

<font size=""1""><font color="#"black"">Liberalism is not an affilation its a curable disease. </font></font><br /><br><font color="#"gray"">~Wisdom of Shawnshuefus</font><br /><br><font color="#"blue""><font size=""1"">The punishment which the wise suffer, who refuse to take part in government, is...
17 years 9 months ago #74546 by crazy4my2
I'm going to weigh in as the "newbie" of this bunch. I've only been on this site for about = oh a month. I can honestly say I just stoped in to have a "look/see" - haven't left yet!

I find this board to be so welcoming and open to all the posters. I know that at first the easy with which some of the posters had with each other was so intimidating. But with a few strokes of the keyboard - they welcomed my opinions and commets!

Stay with us curosity - you'll love the ride! (be sure to come on to page 2 on the social line. Just be sure you are well caffinated and sugared up - cause this bunch goes 200mphs there! :D

<font size=""2"">If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain - Maya Angelou</font><br />
<br><br />
<br>Life is an adventure - Seize each moment and make it your own!
17 years 9 months ago #74545 by dlf
Replied by dlf on topic RE: ...if someone is serious.
AHHHHYHHHHHHH--that was me--AHHHHHHHHHH like the most non cliquish, most open person in the world and that was me AHHHHHHHHH....
I'm sooooooo very sorry that my post put you off and I swear to goodness that's not my intent. I will often just go look at posts with no answers so I can maybe make a comment to help or to let the person posting know that the spirit is to assist as I can (lord knows I've come up with enough T-shirt slogans and poems for everything from the roadrunners to the spuds(and that was tough).
What I was nodding to was exactly what Tim mentioned. I also have a real sense of caution when someone comes on to recommend a "terrific new fundraiser" is unregistered (or registered) and I've never seen them before and their sight is "sellmystuff.com".
Over the year I've come to sense the spirit of these boards and if there are folks that are more vocal (like that darn CC [img]smile.gif[/img] )....well it's just because she (and me too) have trampled in boots that are muddied and we hope to keep others a little cleaner. This PTO stuff is tough business and sometimes our posters are brand new, young moms that need to know that there are other folks out there looking to help from an annonymous square message board.
And now I realize that I'm one of the ones that puts "do a search" as well ohmygoodness I'm going to go stand in a corner and eat some of my own cookie dough. I really do see a benefit when there is a post in one area and has missed the lengthy line of posts in another that are relevant and helpful.
So see there--even when you have more than 40 posts you can still learn from the boards. I'm going now to light some of the candles that didn't sell, cook a pizza from last years fund raiser and wrap myself in a ton of gold wrapping paper that I just happen to have as well. Maybe this year we should sell strawberry wine...for times like these....
17 years 9 months ago #74544 by CrewChief
My husband's favorite saying is "Perception is Reality" because it reminds him that it doesn't always matter what your intentions are. It matters how other people perceive your intentions. I personally can say that I have never intended to appear cliquish. I do enjoy the friendships here, look forward to posts from particular members because I learn so much from them, and like Shawn mentions, am glad that sharing some of my experiences can help others.

Curiosity, I truly appreciate you bringing this to everyone's attention. I'm sorry that you felt you couldn't use your registered name but I understand. Sometimes I worry that folks don't disagree with me because, well, "that's CrewChief, she's a regular, folks won't like me if I disagree with her. I'll be shunned, so on, etc..." I'll be the first to say that I'm not always right, I'm just one vote, I can respectfully disagree without taking it personally.

And I can absolutely attest to the fact that I never notice someone's post #. I do look out for new names and try to repsond. Even if I don't have an answer I try to say, "Welcome to the boards. Hang in there. There will be plenty of replies."

It wasn't that long ago that I made my first post and I was scared to death. I started a thread that I thought was brilliant and got two or three replies because another hot topic popped up and I got dropped. Sometimes you have to do like Tim says and reactivate your own post (essentially replying to yourself) to nudge it back up to the top.

Keep coming back, Curiousity. We need folks like you around here!

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

"The ultimate aim of karate lies not in victory or defeat but in the true perfection of one's character."
17 years 9 months ago #74543 by Rockne

Originally posted by Shawn:


Sometimes we just dont have answers for - some need to learn to use the search function first (i personally have hardtime answering the 10th question on ie. Donuts and Dads (when the heading has 9 headings right below it on the same topic), then post a question if no answer is found,

Good feedback, Shawn. Allow me to address a bit more, because I think this is so important.

Let's extend your "use the search button" point a bit.

In recent weeks I've noticed that when some new posters post a common question (one that, yes, has been covered innumerably on the boards before), there have been some responses like:

"Use search"

That's exactly the kind of response that can give a very wrong impression. I understand it, but we have to guard against it (not you Shawn -- this is more of a "for everyone" post)

Let's think of the parent group. Regulars have been involved for a while. New kindergarten mom comes and has ideas that you guys have tried before or ideas that -- from your experience -- you're very, very confident won't be a good idea for your group. Let's even imagine that she's the 11th new parent to come with the same kind of ideas. You're tired.

How do you respond?

Maybe the first time you thanked the new parent for the suggestion, talked it over quite a bit, explained why you felt it wasn't wise and found 2 or 3 ways for new mom to get involved and feel welcome.

But when the 6th or 11th parent has the same idea, does one of your leaders really just shut the questiner down quickly? or dismiss the idea with little discussion and get back to the agenda?

If yes -- then how's that new parent feel? What does she think of your group? What will she tell her friends (who were maybe contemplating getting involved)? What impression will be spread?

No lecture. Just worth a thought.

If I had to choose for these boards one or the other of:

1) create a community; or
2) be really helpful, practical place for people with questions

...I'd go with 2. Love having both, but we have to make sure that 1 doesn't negatively impact 2.

Tim

PTO Today Founder
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