Cape Dad...a good principal is without a cherished find!! I did send this post to my new principal, he was like I hope I don't act that way! I assured him if he did I would tell him about it! My principal reminded me the other day that I have only known him six months and it takes a while to build up that realtionship. I had one that I loved soooooooooooooo much and we butted heads all the time but that is because we were both so passionate about our families!

I just wanted to add that our principal TOTALLY ROCKS! in case some of our parents lurk here.

She works with us and supports us a ton, and she is my most cherished ally.

Originally posted by dstemp3:
everything was fine until I the president said I needed to have my vice president run the General PTO meeting this week. Things really got heated, he said quite a few hurtful things.

I have posted before that I'll never understand parent groups and principals butting heads on a personal level. Why would it be so important that you not miss a meeting? Is he afraid he can't bully your VP?

I would seriously scale my efforts at school back if our principal imposed her will where she does not have status. (Hurtful things? WTF -- this is the PTO for godness sake. I'd move to suspend him from the board.)

We allow her to serve as a gatekeeper -- pretty much she can tell us what we can't do if need be. We also give her a seat on the board. She is just one vote, however, so if she wants something to happen at the PTO board level, she has to earn a majority. She can't stop us from acting -- just from acting at school.

Your principal sounds like a tool. He might be overwhelmed. He might just stink at his job.

You need to be an independent org. If you are already, there is no way you should allow yourself to be mistreated. Actually, even if the principal has leverage and some legit control, you should not be mistreated. Tell him to be civil or lose his PTO.

Something I learned last year was that there is always someone over someone and this is no exception.
Last year several parents and staff members contacted a conflict resolution person( something like that anyway) to discuss many issues that were going on at our school. Many were unrealated to the Director (in a another school this would be the Superintendant) but none the less serious issues.

The school district started asking questions, researching past complaints, and listening to new. It was nice to have the district there to hear issues like yours and so many more and worse! The key point here is that the parents started the conversation to see how to handle the Director and what excatly are our rights as parents. (We were ignorded....unless you were a favorite-- I know).

As a PTO member and a parent we are in a tough spot, I would have been dieing to interveen in the discussion with the parent but know that that is THE LAST thing I should do too!

I would see who you could talk with for help with the district offices or to let them know that he is not working out and can someone talk with him etc. Keep it positive (or try at least!) and have facts.

May the force be with you!! (sorry watching Star Wars...again)

Have a similar situation with our principal. She likes to run the meetings, interjects her thoughts at will, drags on and on with personal stories that add nothing, and shuts out opposing views. Technically, the principal is not on our executive committee and her position is that of advisary/liason. She has forgotten that. There are no warm fuzzy feelings either.

I understand what you're going through. We sort of have the same problem with ours. We try to have the utmost of professionalism when we have to deal with the principal. No matter how we feel about the principal as a person we remember our committment to our jobs. If it wasn't for that we probably would have left after the first three months of school. It hasn't gotten any easier but I drink a lot of tea and pray before and after going in. And being able to post on this site and have unbiased people listening helps me keep my sanity and prospective. If it isn't making you mentally or physically sick maybe you can find it in yourself to hang on until the end of the school year. I hope your burden eases. My mom tells me to whip some eggs!