Just a quick comment on background checks. Do any of your states have a sex offender registry. We do in Michigan and you can go to the web and check it for free. Just a thought.

Yes--I guess what I was trying to say is that although we might be mothers we are not all necessarily Mother Theresa. I just wouldn't want you to turn anyone off.

Thanks very much to all who have replied. I am grateful to have a forum for several different sides to the story.

I'm still going to stick with my 'piece of paper' but add some good ideas you have presented. I will add some language to the bylaws that is more specific. For example I included some language stating "when representing the PTO". That to me means "don't run a carnival game and stop in the middle to light up". It doesn't mean you can't take a break away from the crowd and enjoy your 15 minutes of peace. It appears I wasn't specific enough. I'll work on the words.

As for judgemental. I would hope that someone on a PTO Board is monitoring the folks who volunteer to some degree. Otherwise who's taking care that our kids are being protected? When 'confronting' the problem isn't working where do you turn? What can you do? Like it was mentioned, I will add some verbage about removing an officer. That should head off any potential problems.

I'm not perfect either and DO swear (but don't while I put my PTO Board Member hat on and am trying to get folks to volunteer for a project or run a meeting) and I have had some drinks on occassion (but not while collecting money for the cookie dough sale).

I guess the point (mentioned earlier) is that it IS a fine line and I'm trying to think like a parent and what kind of person I would want working for the best interestes of my kids DURING A PTO EVENT.

Thanks again. It has helped tremendously.

As much as I like the Code of Conduct idea, I have to agree with Tim. So as not to scare off anyone, our protection is in our bylaws. We have a provision for the removal of an officer. And for removal of a member from a meeting, we refer to Roberts Rules. Both methods are safe and proven effective.

As some of our board members could stand being held to 1, 2, 3a, e and f, I have to say I'm all for those!

That said, I have to agree with Mark's Mom. I can't see making somebody sign a code of conduct. I know it's true (and sad!) that people sometimes actually have to be told what's appropriate behavior, but if that's the case, I see a code of conduct as something that should be in the standing rules rather than a signed document. The control issue is there for me. Like Tim, I don't plan on cursing out some members I'd like to while holding a beer in one hand and a crack pipe in the other, but I have a problem with being lectured to before I actually was accused of something.

As far as the background checks go, I'm on the fence. It can't hurt if you can afford to do it, and it would be helpful in finding that (God Forbid!) possible pedophile or rapist in your midst. In most cases though you aren't going to catch (asides from the DWIs or DUIs) the alcoholic or drug abuser, or the child/wife abuser. I'd worry about be given a false sense of security.

In the end I'm for being honest and forthcoming if you're having a problem with something, though I'll admit it doesn't always make you very popular! If someone has an OBVIOUS problem, by all means pull them aside and talk to them. As uncomfortable as it is to do, it's a hell of a lot better than sitting around feeling angry and stressed. Plus you end it early before something potentially dangerous could happen. Here in North Jersey, I wish someone had pulled aside a mother who ended up beating and kicking her 13(14?)-year old child to death last year. She was a known problem and had been accused of being abusive, and would show up loaded at the school and teacher conferences. People talked, but rather than take the chance of being "wrong," no one SAID or DID anything. In the end the kid died. The entire staff is under investigation for their lack of action.

I'm off my soap box now! While I'm sure that no one else would have a situation as bad as that, it gives you food for thought. Is a code really going to do anything? And it seems to me the potential problems later on down the road that could arise from it outweigh any possible benefit. Signing it doesn't mean they're actually going to honor it, and what are the consequences if you don't obey the code? Do you the bend the rules ever, or is it zero tolerance? What happens if the board lets something slide once; does it set a precedent? If it were me, I'd think about it before I actually had someone sign something. Just my $0.02.

[ 03-23-2004, 02:59 AM: Message edited by: kmamom ]

I must say that I agree with Mark's Mom.

I'd have a problem signing the code agreement and I think the code would turn a lot of good people off. It's not because I want to curse or drink or smoke while i'm volunteering. It's much more because I dislike the feeling of being lectured or told how to act. I don't think I'm alone in that.

Better in my opinion to put some general language in your bylaws regarding "removal of an officer" (maybe something like "2/3 of the board vote required", executive session, etc.) and then hope -- as is highly likely -- that you won't need to use the language. The code solution affects everyone on the off-chance that someone might slip up. I'd rather assume the best and have a system in place in case of the worst.